On a bright sunny Sunday, I decided to bounce my way to the nearest metro. Since it was <2km away, I figured that if I ride the electric scooter at half throttle at a measly 10kmph, sticking to the sidelines, it should be borderline acceptable to not wear a helmet (Yes, I know even at 10kmph for a short distance: unsafe, illegal, head explosion, etc. I know. )
Everything was going well, until the white nation attacked.
I first caught a glimpse of his tide-white uniform peeking through a tender coconut pile. The White Knight of the road was hiding behind the coconut pile, waiting to spring and pounce on the first traffic offender that comes down the road. I could almost feel his X-ray eyes, scanning through the coconuts for unprotected rider heads.
I switched to Emergency Evasion 101 by swerving to an empty parking spot by the road side. Within mere seconds, I had made the necessary payment and taken the vehicle selfie required to end the bounce ride.
Now comes the walk of shame across the white knight. Chants of “Shame! Shame!” echoed in my head as I walked towards the coconut pile where the white knight stood, awaiting to pass judgement. I feared that we had locked eyes before, and that he had caught me in the act. I made a split-second decision that if he were to accost me, I’d plead guilty straightaway, no fuss.
As I neared the coconut pile, the white knight sprung into action, leaping halfway across the road. I winced at the blow; a blow that never came. For our hero had found a bigger fish to catch.
Down the road, thumped a Royal Enfield, cruising well over the speed limit. The cherry on top? It bore a guy and a girl, both without helmet (both wore a fine pair of glistening aviators, if that counts as protection). Double helmet violation and a speeding violation was on the horizon. Throw in a fine for bulls eye sticker, emission fine because climate change and garnish with a fine for “you look too cool and privileged”. Surely you can see how big of a catch this was for our white knight.
Alas! It was not to be. What seemed like a fine catch, turned out to be a hidden Uno Reverse card. The bullet screeched to a halt just before the white knights outstretched stop hand. But the rider didn’t even flinch. He just directed his gaze below, where nestled on the fuel tank was a tiny helmet. Our white knight followed the gaze with a gulp. He saw that the helmet, which was doing a fine job protecting the fuel tank, had the police insignia in front. Clearly, taking your girl out for a ride, was important policy duty.
Our white knight bows, steps back. It was not to be, he had to let them go. Someday.. someday he will have his vengeance on higher rank IPS officers.
A day may come, when the courage of the white knight goes beyond the bureaucratic corruption, when he does his duty irrespective of who brakes in front of him.
But it is not this day. This day, he will have to make his lunch money some other way. His gazed shifted onto the next helmet-less bounce rider, and the hand went up.
- Thank you for tuning into this week’s episode of Bengaluru Cop Stories. I don’t mean to offend any segment of society or govt. with this tale, just sharing it because I found this entire incident funny.